You were given life; it is your duty (and also entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight. –Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray and Love.
And I think, we wouldn’t be able to see the beauty if we’re unhappy. I also think, we wouldn’t be able to feel content if we haven’t found what the heck are our gifts in or for this world. But I might be wrong, for everyone has different color. Some people might be too ignorance to sense something is not right with their lives. But some people are different. Those who are often too hard on themselves, the wandering type, the ones who refuse to settle if they sense something doesn’t feel right–although sometimes they couldn’t even pinpoint what is wrong. Some of them just know that they’re not doing the thing that they should do. What shoud they do? What should we do?
I am a strong believer that we at least have this one gift within ourselves. I believe each person has a gift to share with the rest of the world. No matter how small his/her community. Sadly some people died without even realizing or finding what was it the purpose of their lives. One of the stories that usually made me utterly sick, is the one about “what if’s“. I first heard it from Wajahat Ali during one of the workshops that I attended. The story goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was an old man. He was on the edge of his journey in this world. His eyes wandered through the window of his room. He could barely move his legs and hands. But he could still hear clearly, and he heard the door open. His son came to the room, and sat next to him. Still with his wandering eyes, he began talking to his son.
“Son, lately I often asked my self those what if’s questions… What if I was brave enough to leave my father and his shop in Knoxville, and went to LA to pursue a degree in film. I have always wanted to make a movie. I wished I had the courage to do so. I have always loved the movie industry.”
Of course, we will never know whether the old man would be better off in LA or not. We will never know too, whether the journey that we’re doing right now is the best one or not. For we only can take the path once at a time.
But I do know that I don’t want to have a lot of fundamental what if’s when I am old. Right now I am old enough to say, based on my limited experiences so far, that I would always be better off trying something and regret it, then not trying it. Usually the latter contains a bigger regret.
My biggest worry is if I would never be settling down, and trapped in a vicious cycle of trying. What if I would always be on the go and try new things, in my quest to find my purpose and gift in life?
I can only say from my point of view, for I couldn’t put my feet on your shoes. But again based on my limited experiences, you can feel it when it feels click, or when you’re on the right path. You will feel content. I am so happy and utterly grateful right now. I think I am in my most content self for the past three years. It’s because I am more certain with what I want, what I have and what I am supposed to do. Finally it feels click.
I remember in mid February this year (2016). I was sitting in Miki’s living room, about to depart to Tokyo the next day, for a user interview with Google. She’s a very good friend of mine, for she was brave enough to sound her disagreement towards my decision. I might hadn’t realized it back then, but she did. I think she felt that my decision to pursue this role isn’t something very much suitable with me. I think I told her that I was confuse, and she replied, “dig deeper, find what is it that you want, Faela.”
Her words stuck with me for the next 10 months, even until right now in December 2016.
What we truly want to pursue in life, I think, have strong relation with our gifts for this universe. Does this make sense to you too?
The struggle is to find out what we truly want in life. Only when we are doing things that we want, we can maximize our contribution to society. The contribution, is thereafter, our gifts for this universe. I assume, we will not even bother to contribute to society if we are unhappy. And isn’t it easier to be happy when we are doing things that we truly want?
Therefore, to some extent, I think it’s necessary to find out what we want and what our gifts to society.
Our contribution/gift to society doesn’t always mean our jobs. Some people actually very flexible and able find the love in their jobs, although they were initially dislike their jobs. Some people could stay in their jobs although they dislike it, by doing side projects that they really like. We need to know who we are, and our rhyme. I don’t think I can tolerate working on a job that I dislike, but some people could actually do that.
Nevertheless, it is clear to me, that God gives us purpose in this life. The Greater Power gives each and everyone of us a gift. A gift to make this world a better place, and to bring a positive contribution to society. If you haven’t found what is it that you want, if you haven’t found your gifts, if you feel something still doesn’t click although you can’t pinpoint it… if I were you, I will try to dig deeper. For I believe, it is our obligation to try our best to discover what are our purpose and gifts in this life.